The Day After Forever
by DizzyAlice
Summary: Something bad has happened. Because of it, Stan has gone missing, and Kyle and Wendy are both desperate to find him. In their efforts they may become forced to work with their worst enemies - each other. Style, Stendy, Candy, KylexBebe. Multi-chap.
1. Letter I

_The Day After Forever  
Chapter One: Letter I_

**A/N: This is important, please read it!!**  
As promised, new multi-chap Style fic.  
But, please know that if you have read any of my past fics, this will be _very_ different. There's love quadrangles, angst, and a boatload of drama. And hardly any fluff (shocking, right?) but don't let that discourage you! There will be moments I'm sure =)  
Most of this fic is told in letter format, and the letters are all authored by Stan to Wendy. There will, however, be little interludes so that you can see what's going on with everyone else throughout the story, scattered every few chapters or so.  
If you're asking yourself a lot of questions about what the hell's going on, that's good. That's generally my goal. A lot of things will be revealed in the second chapter though, although not everything of course. =)

General plotline: An incident has happened in the school cafeteria, causing Stan to disappear without a trace. He's secluded himself up in the mountains to write letters to Wendy. Meanwhile, down in South Park Wendy and Kyle are both determined to find Stan, but in their efforts they may find themselves forced to work with their worst enemies - each other.  
Pairings: Mainly Style and Stendy, a more minor focus on Candy, and brief references to KylexBebe.  
Warnings: Swearing, a ton of drama, overly fickle characters, possible character death.

If you're one of my regular readers, you're probably used to me leaving Author's Notes like this on every chapter. I will not be doing that this time around - I really want the story to speak for itself, uninterrupted by my little asides. I'll most likely do one on the last chapter, and one of the middle chapters, but other than that, I'll be quiet. Although, if you review, of course I'll still reply. =)  
Please enjoy _The Day After Forever_, and reviews would be absolutely wonderful, please and thank you.

As an unrelated note, please check the poll on my profile and vote =)

* * *

Dear Wendy,

I don't know exactly where to start. I'm sorry for just running out like that, but you have to understand. I couldn't stay in the cafeteria, with everyone talking like that, and staring. I just know how quickly this is all going to spread around town. I don't think I'm quite ready to face anyone yet.

I hope you're not looking for me. Even if you are, I doubt you'll find me. Even I hardly know where I am. I stopped home after ditching school, grabbed some of my dad's camping gear and stuffed my backpack full of food. I think I should be good to last up here a couple days at least. I can make a fire if I need to, and I've got all the survival training they taught us back in Scouts.

I'll come back eventually. I'm just not quite ready yet. I needed somewhere quiet, somewhere I could think things over.

It's really pretty up here in the mountains. There's snow over everything, pure and white and completely untouched. I felt almost bad walking across it. I can see most of the sky, which right now is just a big grey cloud. There's that tang in the air, the way it smells before it's going to snow.

Maybe someday I'll bring you up here. I think you'd like it a lot.

By this point I'm sure you're wondering why the hell I'm writing to you. Does this mean I've picked you? Good question. Still trying to figure that one out myself.

You don't even know, though. About that whole freakin' ultimatum Kyle gave me.

I don't even want to think about that right now. It's part of what started all this.

So why you, not him? I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I feel like we hardly ever actually talk – it's all arguing. I'm sick of all the fighting that we do. Who knows if I'll ever even give these letters to you – but it feels kind of good finally just telling you what's on my mind for once.

Before I say anything else, I just need to tell you one thing.

I'm sorry.

I am so, so sorry for everything that happened. I know that it's mostly my fault and I wish I could take it back. I never wanted to hurt you, or get Kyle or anyone else involved in all of this, and I'm truly, deeply sorry.

That being said, let's move on.

I wish we could've worked things out. I tried so hard. I know you were trying, too. I don't know how we let all these other people get in the way, or when our relationship started going to shit, but it sucks. It sucks majorly.

I don't know how Cartman found out about all this, but it's no surprise he couldn't keep his fatass mouth shut. I hate saying it, because I know she's your best friend and all, but I kind of suspect Bebe's involvement. I don't know whether or not Kyle told her about all of this, but if he did, it would make sense.

There's no way in hell Kyle would ever tell that fat bastard anything, especially of this nature, so I think it's pretty safe to rule him out.

The only other one who knew was you. Please, please don't tell me you told him. We're already hanging on a very thin thread here, and I know for a fact that that would snap it.

If this had been just a few weeks ago I would've already ruled you out as well, but what with recent events and all, I just don't know about you anymore.

Relationships are supposed to be based on trust, Wends. If I can't even trust you not to go telling people a secret that could ruin our relationship, and potentially my life, I don't know how well this is going to work out.

Although after the thing with Kyle and all, I think you're allowed your amount of untrust (is that even a word?) with me, too.

Oh god. My parents are going to find out about this soon enough – you know how fast gossip travels in our town – I wouldn't be surprised if they already knew. Even if I wanted to come back at that point, I doubt they'll let me. I feel like my mom might be okay with it all, but my dad… My dad. He's a completely different story.

It's starting to get dark, and I can no longer feel my toes. I might have to put on another pair of socks. Goddamn it's cold, though. Tonight's probably going to be rough, but I took my dad's heavy duty camping sleeping bag, and my winter parka, and a few extra blankets. I'll build a fire and it should be okay. Worst case scenario I'll just use Sparky for body heat.

Yeah, I brought Sparky with me. He wouldn't let me out of the house without him. I think he could tell I was upset about something – one of those weird animal instinct things. He's loving it up here, though – all this open space to run around in. He's getting older, but I think he'll always be a puppy at heart.

I don't know what I'm going to do when he dies. I try not to think about that.

Anyways, I'm getting really off-topic here.

It's so peaceful up here, though. It really lets me think.

It feels like time has stopped, and I can shut my eyes and pretend like today never happened.

Pretend like I never have to leave this mountain.

Would you be upset if I never came back? If I just stayed up here forever and found myself a nice cave and turned into a hermit?

Would you care?

Would Kyle care?

Would anyone care?

Would I care?

I think I would get too lonely. I need interaction with other people. Even now, that's one of the reasons I'm writing to you like this – I can almost pretend I'm talking to you.

God, I miss your voice. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, I miss it. I miss you.

You've been so distant lately, like I hardly exist. What happened to the beautiful, charming, happy Wendy? The girl I fell in love with?

Maybe we just need to face the facts. We've both changed.

People fall in love.

People fall out of love.

I don't want to give up on you yet, but we're getting dangerously closer to that point.

Maybe all this stuff happened for a reason. Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something. It sure as hell doesn't seem to want to keep us together.

Oh god, am I breaking up with you? I take it back. I don't want to break up. I just think that if we're going to make this work, we're both going to have to try a hell of a lot harder.

The sunlight's fading fast, I probably have to stop writing as it's getting difficult to see my words on the page. Besides, I should get to gathering firewood unless I want to freeze to death tonight.

I love you. Whatever happens, I love you so, so much, and don't you dare forget that.

I'll probably write some more in a little while, but now I have to stop.

Trust me when I say this is not your fault.


	2. Letter II

_The Day After Forever  
Chapter Two: Letter II_

* * *

Wends,

I know you don't want to hear this, but I think you have the right to – no, I think that you need to know just what happened with me and Kyle that night. I know you said you didn't want me to tell you, you'd rather not think about it, but I can't shake this feeling that we can't even hope to go back to okay unless you know all the gory, grisly details.

We were drunk, Wends. We were fucking plastered out of our minds. You know how we get when we're like that. How stupid we act.

It was at Token's holiday party, some huge-ass event held at that mansion he calls a home. I think our whole entire high school was there – minus you and Bebe, who were, of course, still on your annual Christmas break ski trip with your families.

Looking back on it, I kind of feel like none of this would have happened if you and Bebe had been around that night. Or maybe it was inevitable, and your presence would only have prolonged it to a different night.

It started with Beer Pong, as it often does. Seeing as Kyle and I totally kick ass at that game, we got the pleasure of defeating Cartman and Kenny multiple times and even had a few goes with Craig and Clyde before moving on.

The rest of the party is kind of a blur to me but I do seem to have a vivid memory of Kyle and I sitting on the floor with our foreheads pressed together, laughing at nothing in particular. That's around the time that I said "Hey this party sucks let's go back to my place" or something to that effect.

Kyle had already informed his parents that he would be sleeping over my house that night because he didn't want to get caught by them while he was completely wasted, and we both knew that my parents wouldn't really care.

While I remember everything from that point on, it all seems sort of surreal, like a dream. Except for the fact that it was real – every second of it.

We made our way up to my room as quietly as possible before flopping onto my bed – it was somewhere around three in the morning, I think. My parents were asleep.

I was past happy-drunk at this point and on to emo-moping-hate-my-life-drunk. I think I was complaining about missing you, actually. But then his glazed-over eyes lit up and he said, "I know how to make it better."

Nothing can make it better, I had insisted at the time. And I truly believed what I was saying.

But he promised he knew the key, he knew what would work. I still didn't believe him so I said, "Show me."

Somehow those were the magic words. Somehow I already knew what I was saying yes to before it happened, before my shirt was gone and he was sucking at my chest, before his head was in my lap and he was sucking at something very different.

And then it was over and we both fell asleep almost right away, without another thought on the matter.

The next morning I woke up with a pounding headache and opened my eyes to see Kyle gathering his things. He was already dressed. When he noticed me watching him, he just smiled kind of sadly and said, "Go back to sleep, Stan. I'll call you later, okay?"

He didn't look me in the eye.

I just kind of nodded dumbly, still trying to figure out why I was wearing nothing but my boxers. And then he left and I passed out again.

When I woke up later that afternoon, I stumbled into the bathroom and was shocked to find deep purple mouth marks covering my torso. The hickies brought a flood of memories back to me as I realized what had happened. I wasn't quite sure how I was ever going to face Kyle again after that.

Unsurprisingly, he never called.

Then you and Bebe got back from your trip and I put on a great show of pretending nothing unusual had happened while you were gone – oh, other than that whole thing with the Abominable Snowman kidnapping Ike but that's an entirely different story involving a German exchange student and many, many tarantulas. But I already told you about that, didn't I? Besides, that was all before the whole party incident.

Anyways, we went back to school and Kyle and I never acknowledged what had happened over break. Everything was fine for a while.

But, and I'm sure this is what you're asking yourself right now, if Kyle and I never talked about it, and I was perfectly happy to pretend it had never happened, why did it happen again?

I'm not entirely sure when the feelings started being there, but they were. I couldn't get the memory of Kyle's mouth against my skin to leave – it was like his touch was imprinted there forever.

And that was when I realized I wanted nothing more than to feel that touch again.

I think it worked pretty much the same way for Kyle – that's how it seemed, at least. There was just all this fucking sexual tension between us, and it kept building and building until neither of us could take it anymore. We weren't even drunk that time.

And that was how it went. We deprived ourselves and tortured ourselves until it was literally too much to handle and then we just gave in.

Although I'm not quite sure why I'm explaining this. I think you better than anyone should know what sexual tension is like.

There were rules, of course. Unspoken but there. We never talked about what we were doing. Only fooled around if we were absolutely sure we wouldn't be caught, and only if both were willing.

And, possibly most importantly, we never, ever kissed. Mouth-to-mouth, I mean. It was some kind of taboo.

I guess you could call us "friends with benefits" or something. But, god, that just sounds so… dirty. Not that what we were doing wasn't dirty, but hearing it put that way just makes it so much worse.

But then Kyle had to go and break the rules. He broke up with Bebe. He broke up with Bebe, and then he came and talked to me about the whole thing, and then he gave me his ultimatum.

And then he kissed me. On the mouth.

I'm not even going to lie, it was fucking amazing. It just felt so… right. So perfect, so meant to be.

So I told him I needed some time to think it over and decide on what he had said. He gave me a week. That's part of the reason why I'm up here – I need to make a fucking decision.

I just love you both so much.

After that we went into the cafeteria to find everyone staring at us, and Bebe was crying, and you were next to her with just this look in your eyes. I can't even describe it. But it literally made my heart stop for a second.

And there was fatass, standing in the middle of it all, watching us with a smug little smile on his face.

Then Kyle and I just looked at each other and we both knew that our secret wasn't a secret anymore.


	3. Interlude I

_The Day After Forever  
Chapter Three: Interlude I_

A/N: Hey guys, I made a twitter for my fic writing! Link's on my profile =) Check it out for my progress and Author's Note type things.  
I said in the A/N at the very beginning of this fic that there would be little Interludes scattered between the letters, but I know none of you guys actually read these things. Oh well, at least I can pretend. So this is the first Interlude and it, like the rest of them (there will be four total) will follow what's going on with Kyle, Wendy, and the Marsh family down in town. Just so we're not all bored with nothing but Stan's rambling all the time.  
This chapter has some much-needed comic relief from the general serious tone of this story, but it's mostly funny because of the irony. First off, something to keep in mind: one of Stan's biggest fears right now is what his family (especially his dad) is going to do when they find out about him and Kyle. Secondly, I've read a ridiculous amounts of fics where Kyle's parents (namely Sheila) freak out upon finding out that he's gay. I know that parents do that, it's sad but true, but I honestly don't see either of Kyle's parents doing that, really. So I took a different take on the situation.  
Also, I have determined that I can't write Randy for my life, please forgive me =(  
I outlined the rest of this fic and it's looking like it'll finish at around ten chapters, which is way shorter than I originally wanted =/ But I really don't think I can drag it out for a whole lot longer than that.  
So without further delay, Interlude I of TDAF. Enjoy!  
Reviews are love~

* * *

It's nerve-wracking to stand staring at a front door with no idea of what is to come upon its opening. It takes all the self-control he has not to turn and bolt as the knob turns.

He smiles nervously at the woman that appears in the doorway, noting the confusion on her face.

"Hi, Mrs. Marsh," he says. "Stan doesn't happen to be home, does he?"

"I'm sorry, Kyle, I'm afraid he's not," the woman frowns. "We thought he was with you, dear, what with all the extra time you two have been spending together lately."

"Right. About that." Kyle bites his lip. "Can I come in?"

Sharon wordlessly moves out of the doorway, waiting for her son's best friend to remove his shoes and coat before leading him into the family room.

"Randy!" she calls. Kyle can hear noises in the kitchen as he sits in the armchair across from the couch before Mr. Marsh enters the room.

"What's this about?" he grumbles, staring between his wife and the nervous teen boy.

"Stan's, um," Kyle starts as the two Marsh adults sit on the couch facing him. "Stan's missing."

"What did your son do now?" Randy asks Sharon. She glares at him before turning back to Kyle.

"How long?"

"Since lunch. He skipped his last two classes, and everyone I've talked to says they haven't seen him. His phone is either turned off or dead."

"And you don't know where he might be?"

Kyle shakes his head.

There are a few moments of quiet as worry makes itself evident on Sharon's face. Randy looks rather unconcerned.

"Look," Kyle continues at last. "This is hard for me to say, but I know you'll find out anyways, and I'd rather you hear it from me than through the grapevine." He pauses, absently playing with loose threads from the hole in his jeans and not making eye contact with either of the adults.

"The last few months, Stan and I have been… seeing each other," he says slowly. "Well, what I mean is, not, no, not dating. That's not quite the right term. Fooling around, I guess you would say?" His face is red.

"Oh, dear, I know that already," Sharon says. Kyle's eyes snap up to see her smiling kindly.

"Y-you do?"

"You boys fell asleep together in Stan's room one afternoon when I came home from work. I never said anything to him because I figured he would tell me when he was ready."

"Oh," Kyle says.

"It was a bit shocking at first, I must admit. But boys will be boys, and if that's what makes you two happy–"

"Hey," Randy interrupts. "My boy's no queer."

"Oh, so he's _your_ boy now, is he?"

"He's got that girlfriend of his, though, right? That Wendy?"

"He broke it off with her." Sharon turns back to Kyle. "Right?"

"Um… not exactly," Kyle says reluctantly.

Sharon sighs and shakes her head, looking disappointed. "That boy. I thought I raised him better."

"My boy's no queer," Randy repeats, rather half-heartedly.

"Oh, stop it, Randy. Stanley is our son and we love him for who he is. Right?"

Randy appears to think this over for a moment. "Sure, why not," he says finally, grinning first at Kyle and then his wife.

Kyle still looks upset, though. "I think we're forgetting the real issue here. Stan is _missing_."

"What does this have to do with your relationship, though?" Sharon wants to know.

"Well. Cartman somehow found out about us, and it wasn't long before the whole school knew. When Stan and I got to the cafeteria today, everyone was staring at us. You could just tell that they had all been talking about us. Stan, he… he just left. He seemed pretty upset."

"Your little friend Eric? Why would he do such a thing?"

"First of all, he's clearly not a very good 'friend.' Secondly, there was this thing, with Wendy… it's complicated."

Sharon frowns. "Unfortunately, I don't think there's much we can do at this point other than hope that he comes home. If nothing happens within 24 hours we can file a missing person report, but until then we just have to wait."

Kyle nods, standing up. "I just wanted to let you both know what was going on."

Sharon stands as well, smiling, but Kyle can still see the worry in her eyes. "Thank you. We'll call you if we hear anything. Would… would you like to stay for dinner, maybe? See if Stanley comes home?"

"No, I need to get home. I have to face my own parents still. Thanks, though."

Kyle doesn't realize how evident his own concern is until Sharon steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder, smiling reassuringly.

"Stanley will be fine, Kyle. He knows how to take care of himself. You'll be fine, too."

Kyle just nods, unconvinced. His mind is far away, off wherever Stan is, begging him to come back home.

Kyle says goodbye to the Marshes and makes his way back to his own house, where a far more terrifying set of adults waits.

Even though Kyle travels slowly, it seems as though no time at all has passed before he is sitting in his own family room, facing the questioning gaze of his own parents.

"Stan's missing," Kyle says, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"Oh, Kyle, bubbe, what happened?" Sheila Broflovski was never one for beating around the bush.

"Everyone as school found out that me and Stan did more than platonic things together and Stan got upset and no one can find him and I'm worried and don't know what to do," Kyle says in a rush. Once he is finished he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"I'm sure he'll show up," his mother says comfortingly.

"What about that Stevens girl? I thought you were seeing her," his father pipes up.

"I broke up with her. I want to be with Stan. I-I love him." His voice cracks and he looks nervously between his parents.

"Kyle," his mother says seriously. "Someday you will find a nice Jewish girl – or boy, if that's really what you prefer – and you will be happy. I should really talk to my friend Carol from the synagogue, oh, she has this son–"

"Mom," Kyle interrupts, looking completely bewildered. "That's almost exactly what you said when I told you I was going out with Bebe."

"We said it then and we'll say it now," his father says. "You will find someone. Someone who is right for you. Someone who is _Jewish_."

"I just told you I'm in love with my best friend – my _male_ best friend – and you're more concerned about the fact that he isn't _Jewish_?" Kyle is still trying to figure this out. He really does not understand his parents sometimes.

"Kyle, bubbe, you know how important our religion is," his mother says.

"We think it's important for you to be with someone who shares our beliefs," his father says.

Kyle just stares at them, slowly shaking his head in disbelief. He isn't sure what he expected when he came out to his parents – anger, maybe, or disappointment – but certainly not this.

Kyle silently gets up and leaves.

As soon as he is out of the room, he hears his parents' voices begin a hushed conversation. He knows they are talking about him but he doesn't care enough to stop and listen.

Kyle takes the stairs two at a time, almost crashing into his younger brother at the top, who is evidently eavesdropping in the dark hallway. Kyle absently ruffles the younger boy's hair and continues on his way to his room until the sound of his name stops him.

"Kyle?" Ike says cautiously. "Do you really love Stan?"

Kyle sighs, turning to face his brother. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"How come?"

"Shit, kid, I don't know. Why does anyone love anyone else? Love just _happens_. And a lot of the time people end up falling in love with someone they're not supposed to."

Ike nods, his eyes understanding. "Why did Stan leave?"

"He's scared. I'm scared, too. But I think if he was here I'd be a little less scared. I don't want to do this alone."

"Where did he go?" Ike's voice is almost inaudible.

"I don't know, Ike. I just don't know."

Kyle goes into his room and pulls the door tightly shut behind him.


	4. Letter III

_The Day After Forever  
Chapter Four: Letter III_

* * *

Wendy

Well it's official. I made it through my first night up here. It was cold. Really, really fucking cold. Even with the fire and my extra layers and everything.

I'm not coming back yet, though. I'm not quite ready for that. Especially not today.

I'm sure today will be hard for you, and for Kyle, after the whole cafeteria thing yesterday. There will be rumors, and staring, and I'm sure no one will leave either of you alone. I just couldn't handle that.

The sky looked really beautiful at sunrise this morning. I hardly ever see sunrise, I'm more of a night person, but this morning I was up early. The clouds were all stained sherbet pink and orange, with tints of gold, before fading out into this rich indigo. You would've loved it. I know how you always say the sky is the most beautiful thing in nature.

Remember that time when we first started dating – really dating, I mean, elementary school doesn't really count – and you dragged me out to Stark's just to watch the sunset? I didn't want to go. God, I didn't want to go. But I didn't tell you that, I just plastered on a smile and walked with you there, even through the three feet of snow that had accumulated.

I went because you wanted me to, and I was willing to do anything to be with you. We held hands the whole way. I think that was the first time I managed to kiss you without puking all over you.

Christ, how things have changed. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that time, you know? When we were innocent little fourteen-year-olds, without all the drama and the arguing and the almost-breakups. When we loved each other for real, fully and truly. When we didn't keep secrets from each other.

I don't think I remember what it feels like to love someone fully and truly. As for keeping secrets, well, let's not even get into that.

Now our relationship has turned all bipolar and more often than not we're just bitching at each other and being not on speaking terms and you find faults in every little thing I do and vice versa. I don't think I can remember the last time we had a conversation that didn't turn into a battle.

A lot of times, like right now, I find myself wondering why we still try. Why we always push to keep our relationship intact, when we so obviously aren't meant to be.

And then I remember all the good things. The way your lips feel on mine, the smell of your hair and the sound of your laugh. The way a room seems to light up when you're there by my side, and my little world just seems that much better. The graceful arch of your back, the strong, confident way you carry yourself. How you blush and smile and look away when I tell you you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. How it feels to wake up with you in my arms.

But – and there always seems to be a but, doesn't there? – things have changed recently. I'm sure this, at least, you noticed. And don't you dare blame it on Kyle, because it started happening long before he even became a part of this.

You just… don't affect me like you used to. There's no more heart-accelerating, breath-catching, stomach-churning thing anymore. Ever. Not even when you kiss me – like we've been doing so much of that lately, anyways.

See, this is what the mountains are doing for me. What these letters are doing. I knew there was something missing, but I didn't figure out what until just now. And yet, looking back, it seems so freaking obvious. Not that I've ever been the most perceptive person, but I should've caugh onto that, at least.

Has anyone noticed I'm gone yet? You? My parents? Kyle?

Did someone tell my parents what happened? I'm sure they did. I don't even want to know what they'll do to me when I get home.

As for Kyle, well… he'll probably be okay. His dad is a good guy, I'm sure he'll be cool about it. His mom, however, is a different story. She's unpredictable.

Are you looking for me? Have the police been called?

Is Kyle worried?

I think I like him, Wends. Shit, I think I like him. I also think that like is not a strong enough word, but love is a little much.

Someone should invent a new word that describes the feeling that's in between like and love.

Really, though, there's no other explanation for the way I felt when he kissed me yesterday, like I never wanted it to stop. Or for why, after that first time over Christmas break, I just kept going back for more.

So what does this mean for you and I? Well, I really don't know. I still love you, in a way. I think I always will a little. But I also think it's time we stop trying to fix ourselves. There's a time and a place when it's okay to give up, and that would be now. Actually, it was probably long ago, but we're both too stubborn for our own goods.

We were destined to be a tragedy, Wendy. We were never exactly right for each other, and I think we both knew that. I think we were lucky that we had it so good for so long, but it was inevitable that we would end, and, being the overly dramatic people we both are, there was bound to be a huge ordeal.

We'd be crazy to keep chasing this vision we seem to have of you and I, the perfect couple, together forever and ever and ever.

We always did say we'd stay in love forever. Well, dear, I think forever might just be over.

A flock of birds just flew overhead, a giant, writhing black cloud. I wish I could join them. Sprout wings and just fly, far, far away from here.


End file.
